The Heart of the Matter
by spanglemaker9
Summary: Gold underestimated just how well Emma knew Killian, and how hard she'd fight to save him. Meant to be a post 4x08 drabble that got out of control, as they always do.


**Soooo…. This was meant to be a drabble about Emma finally listening to Killian's voicemail from 4x08 and it kinda grew into this Rumple revenge fantasy thing and before I knew it, it was almost 4K words. I don't know how that happens.**

**The text of the actual phone call is verbatim, so grateful acknowledgements to the screenwriters.**

* * *

It wasn't as if she couldn't tell something was wrong from the start. She could see it in the set of his jaw, the smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, the way he couldn't make eye contact for more than a moment. Something was wrong.

When she had a minute alone, she tried to puzzle out what could have happened the night she almost lost her magic. They hadn't been together at all until the very end, so whatever it was happened earlier that day. There were anxious messages from Mary Margaret, David, even Regina as they'd looked for her that day, but nothing from Killian. He was almost comically suspicious of his cell phone, though, so that wasn't so surprising.

There was a lot going on, with the Snow Queen and her bullshit mirror curse. It took days to sort that out. And as always, they were never alone. So she had to content herself with letting him hang back on the edges of the room, or disappear altogether. She focused on dealing with the problems at hand and she kept track of Killian with a smaller part of her brain. After years of tracking baddies, she was good at that.

It was three days later that she finally had a minute alone with him. They grabbed dinner at Granny's with Henry, but afterward, Henry wanted to go check in on Regina. Emma had caught the practically x-rated glances flying between Regina and Robin and knew Regina was probably _more_ than okay, but Henry was worried, which was sweet, so off he went.

Out on the sidewalk, Killian scratched the back of his ear and looked down at the sidewalk. It was such a tell. "Well, I'll be off then, Swan."

He started to turn away but she reached out and grabbed the front of his jacket. "You mean you're not going to walk me home?"

"Well, who am I to turn a lady down?" He flashed her a rakish grin that lacked any genuine heat. Her heart hurt. That smile was all show, almost an instinctive reaction, but there was no _Killian_ in it. Whatever was going on with him, he was seriously troubled by it.

He was mostly quiet on the walk home, responding only when she asked him a question. Another red flag. Killian was adorably eager to talk to her most of the time. At Mary Margaret's building, he dutifully held the door for her and ushered her into the stairwell ahead of him. She turned to face him.

"You never know who's hanging out at Mary Margaret and David's. Maybe you should kiss me now before somebody interrupts us with another crisis."

He smiled. How could a smile look so sad? Did he really think he was fooling her? "As you wish, love." She never wanted to hear him say that again if he was going to say it like that, like he was saying goodbye.

But he kissed her, and it was good because Killian knew his way around kissing, no matter what had him so torn up. She ran her hands up his neck and down again, urging him on. He deepened the kiss and she could taste the desperation in it, the edge of anger. She could feel it in the way his fingers gripped her hair, like he had to hold on to her to keep from losing her. She slid her hands inside his jacket, spreading her fingers wide against his chest, only the thin cotton of his shirt between her palms and the warm skin underneath and then…

He wrenched back away from her just as her eyes flew wide.

"Motherfucker," she hissed. "Your heart…"

"Swan…"

His eyes were tortured and that little muscle in his jaw twitched as he gritted his teeth.

"Oh, I know how it works, Killian. You can't tell me even if I asked. Goddammit. There are only three people in this town who even know how to do it, and I _know_ it wasn't me."

Killian kept backing away, shaking his head, almost as if he was afraid of her figuring out the truth. But Emma wasn't afraid. Emma was _furious_. The circle of people she loved, truly loved, was small, and now Killian was firmly in it. She would die, she would rip apart realms, before she let anyone hurt someone in that circle. And now someone was holding his heart, his very life in their hands.

He promised her he'd stay alive and now he stood here practically a walking corpse. Panic flared, fighting for space with her anger. She remembered Graham, watching him collapse and die in her arms as Regina crushed his heart, and the panic nearly won.

_Regina_. She was a pro at heart-stealing. But Graham was a long time ago and Regina had changed.

"It's not Regina," she said out loud as the certainty settled into her heart. "She's too lust-struck to even think about causing trouble, plus she has no good reason."

"No, Swan, please…." Killian shook his head, his voice strained. There was so much he wanted to say and she could see it being forcibly held down, almost like there was an invisible hand around his throat, choking him…

"Gold." She spat his name like a curse. "It was Gold, wasn't it?"

Killian said nothing, he just slumped against the wall, breathing heavily. She reached out and grasped his jaw, turning his face to hers.

"You don't have to say a word. Just look at me. I can tell when you're telling the truth, even when you don't say anything, Killian. This is us. Tell me. It's Gold."

He looked back at her steadily and she knew. She could read it in his eyes as plain as day. Releasing him, she spun for the door. "Fuck him. That evil little imp will pay for this."

Killian grasped her arm. "Swan, no, he's dangerous."

"Yeah? Well, so am I. Especially when I'm really fucking mad. He's going to regret this for the rest of his miserable, shriveled existence."

She yanked free of his grip and ran down Main Street towards the shop. Killian raced behind her, helpless to do anything but follow. She'd save him, she would. There was no way she'd lose the man she loved this time, not to anybody, not even to death.

At Gold's, she didn't even bother knocking. She broke the door in with one well-placed, rage-fueled kick. Glass shattered and objects cluttering the entryway spilled to the floor. Somewhere upstairs she heard Belle's startled yelp and for just a moment, she felt sorry for her. But pity for Belle wasn't going to stop her from making Gold pay for what he'd done.

Almost as if her rage had summoned him, he appeared, calmly pushing aside the curtain separating the front room from the back of the shop.

"Miss Swan. I assure you, a knock would have sufficed."

"When I get done with you, Gold, a busted in door is going to be the least of your concerns. Give it back to me."

"I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about." Gold crossed his hands neatly in front of himself and smiled, that smug, secret smile she fucking hated. At least she could see that he didn't actually have it on him. As far as she knew, hearts had to be physically crushed to kill someone. Just wishing it from afar wouldn't work. If he didn't have it on him, then it was hidden someplace, which was just like Gold, ferretting away all his treasures and loot. All she had to do was get it out of him.

"His heart! He didn't have to tell me who put their slimy hands on it. It was so obvious you might as well have left your fingerprints on him."

"I'm not sure what your boyfriend has told you, but—"

Emma was across the counter, hands wrapped around his neck and Gold shoved against the back wall before he could finish his sentence. She was pretty sure she'd used magic to propel herself forward, even though she hadn't meant to.

"Cross me and you'll be sorry, Gold."

His dark, beady eyes narrowed. "I'd strongly advise you to remove your hands. Or does the sheriff now advocate physically assaulting law abiding citizens?"

"You might pay your taxes, Gold, but your respect for the law or any other decent rules of behavior is a joke."

"Emma, what are you _doing_?" Belle stood in the doorway to the back of the shop, eyes wide with shock.

"Your husband's got something that belongs to me. We're having a discussion about returning it."

"I'm sure whatever it is, he's—"

"Killian's heart!" Emma snapped at her. "The bastard took his heart and I can guarantee his plans for it aren't pleasant."

Belle blinked, looking from Emma to Gold and back again. "Why on earth would he take Killian's heart?"

Emma smirked at Gold and took a step back, releasing him. "Why don't you tell her what you have planned?"

"Miss Swan is mistaken. I don't have anyone's heart, most certainly not that pirate's worthless organ."

"Use the dagger, Belle," Emma said.

"If he said he doesn't have it…"

"Then there's no harm in making sure, right? Or are you afraid he's lying to you?"

Belle bristled, standing up straighter. "Rumple wouldn't lie to me."

Emma shrugged dismissively. "Then use the dagger. If he's got nothing to hide, nothing will happen."

Belle sighed and rolled her eyes but she turned to her bag on the counter and fished out the dagger.

"It won't work." It was Killian who spoke, the first thing he'd said aside from her name, since she'd laid her hands on his chest and guessed the truth. Emma spun to face him.

"What did you say?"

Killian's eyes went wide and he shook his head. He wasn't speaking. He was barely _breathing_. If she didn't know any better, Emma would have said he looked as if he was being choked. She shot a look at Belle. "He can't speak. If Gold's not doing that, who is? Command your husband to give it back."

Belle shook her head, but she raised the dagger. "Dark One, I command you…"

That's when Emma saw it, she saw Gold's eyes flick from Killian, still red-faced and barely breathing, to the dagger.

"That's not it, is it? That's what Killian meant. It's not the real dagger."

"What are you talking about?" Belle asked. "Of course it is. Rumple gave it to me."

"It's not. Belle, listen to me. Only three people can even manage to extract a heart. It wasn't me and I know it wasn't Regina. Killian was there and he knows. So if it wasn't Gold, why won't he just say so? Look at him. He can't say who did it. Because Gold won't let him."

Belle looked from Emma to Killian, who was beginning to wheeze. Then she looked at Gold. "You wouldn't have taken his heart, would you?"

"Of course not, my love."

"Then why can't he say so himself?"

"You can't have it both ways, Gold," Emma said. "You let him speak freely and he tells the truth. But the only way to keep him quiet is to keep your fucking magic on his throat."

"Dark One, I command you to release him," Belle said, her voice shaking as she raised the dagger. Once again, Gold hesitated, and that's what gave him away. He released Killian, but Belle had seen the flicker of resistance, the moment when he tried to figure out a way around it. "Oh God, it's not real, is it? Killian was telling the truth."

Killian sagged against the counter and Emma reached to help support him. Gold turned to Belle, hands outstretched. "Darling, it's real. Of course I didn't lie."

Belle held up the dagger again. "Dark One, I command you to hit me."

Gold blinked. "What?" In a moment, it all fell apart and the irony was staggering. Belle commanded him to strike her, a command that he should have been compelled to carry out if the dagger were real. But it wasn't. And in truth, in his own twisted way, Gold loved her, and striking her was abhorrent to him. Without the power of the dagger to control him, it was impossible for him to hit Belle. And because he couldn't do it, his deception was uncovered.

Belle's face crumpled in grief. Emma felt another moment of sympathy for her. Belle was as kind as they came and she certainly didn't deserve this deception from someone who was supposed to love her. But she didn't have time for sympathy when Killian's life hung in the balance.

"Rumple, how could you?" Belle whispered raggedly.

"You don't understand, Belle."

"I understand that you've been lying to me for weeks. Maybe forever."

"Hand over the heart, Gold," Emma said, raising one glowing hand. "Or I'll level you. You know I can do it."

"Do your best, Miss Swan," he growled in frustration.

Belle let out a furious snarl and shoved past him. She flipped the edge of a picture on the wall, revealing a safe. "He keeps everything important in here."

"Belle, don't," he began, but she slapped his hand away viciously.

"Don't touch me. Don't you ever touch me again."

"Belle…"

But Gold stood back as Belle spun the dial and unlocked the safe. Angrily, she shoved her way through the contents, scattering bezoars and candle stubs, burnt scraps of paper and tiny potion bottles, all the enchanted detritus of Rumple's long hate-filled magical existence. Finally she pulled free something wrapped in a piece of tattered, dirty fabric. It was small, no more than a handful. Killian dragged in a ragged gasp when he saw it.

"This belongs to you," Belle muttered grimly, handing it across the counter to Emma.

She caught Belle's eyes briefly. "Thank you."

Belle shook her head. "You showed me the truth. I guess that's good."

"I'm here if you need me."

Belle waved her off. "Go. Fix this."

Emma did as she said, reaching for Killian's arm and tugging him after her out of Gold's shop. She didn't want to think about what she was leaving behind, Belle's hurt and fury, Gold's angry desperation. But he'd brought this on himself, it was time that he faced the consequences.

She didn't stop once they were outside. She dragged Killian down Main Street to the turn off into the woods that led to the Toll Bridge. As soon as they were shielded by trees and alone, she turned to face him.

"I couldn't tell you as long as he held it," Killian said.

She reached up to touch his face, dragging her fingertips down his neck. "I know. So I'm not all that clear on the procedure for putting this back. You want me to get Regina to do it?"

He grabbed for her free hand. "No. I want it to be you."

She smiled tightly and nodded. "Ready?"

"For you to reach into my chest? Do your worst, Swan."

Finally there was a flicker of the old Killian there, his charm and swagger. It was the first moment of relief she'd felt since this whole thing began. But they weren't there yet.

Unwrapping the heart, she tossed away the rag. His heart was beautiful. Glowing red and pure, warm and solid in her hands. It was funny, but she imagined she could feel his essence, his essential "Killian-ness" in her palms as she cradled it. It was the way he made her feel when they were alone and intimate, the way his eyes lit up for her, the way his voice dropped for her. The way he was when he existed only for her was all there, glowing in his heart, suffusing her as she held it.

The actual act was rather brutal and mercifully short. There was a disorienting, disturbing moment as she shoved her hand into his chest. Killian gasped and curled in on himself. Then she released his heart and she felt his body draw it back in, the completeness of a puzzle piece set in the right place. She pulled her hand free and he exhaled in exhausted relief.

"Emma," he sighed, pulling her into his arms, dropping his head into the crook of her neck. "Thank you, love."

"I have a pretty big stake in your heart, too, you know."

"You have the biggest stake, Emma. It's all yours, in truth."

He raised his head and looked at her and it was that feeling again, the same one she'd felt as she held his heart. His love for her was a great, enveloping wave, reaching out and drawing her in.

"Hey, I want to do one more thing."

Killian's eyebrow shot up in that ridiculous way he had, and that's when she knew he was fully back to himself. "I'm at your command, love."

"Don't get too excited. It's a spell. Regina told me about it. She did it to Henry. I want to do it to you, if I can get it right."

"You don't need to cast spells on me to have your way with me, darling."

"Will you _stop_? It's not about that. If I get it right, it means that no one can ever take your heart again. And hopefully it'll wipe out any residual Gold magic still hovering around you. I don't want anything surprising us later."

Killian didn't have a louche comeback for that. He simply spread his arms for her. She placed her palm on his chest and closed her eyes, concentrating on everything Regina had told her about the spell. Pale green wisps fell away from Killian, the last of Gold's magic. Her hand glowed white for a moment and when she opened her eyes, she could sense it, the frisson of her magic that now protected Killian's heart.

"Now it's there for good."

"And it beats for you."

She smiled and let him draw her in for a kiss. But just before his lips touched hers, a distant, muffled chime sounded. Emma rolled her eyes. "I'm sure there's all kinds of fall-out from that Gold situation. I guess I better see what's going on." She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and scowled at the screen. "It's a message. From you."

"Me? But I didn't call you."

Emma shrugged and hit speaker as she replayed the message. In seconds, it was clear what it was. Killian's message from days ago, the one he'd left in a frantic attempt to stop Emma from meeting Gold and giving up her magic. The message she'd never gotten, erased by Gold's magic, apparently, and now restored.

Killian groaned as his own ragged, panicked voice filled the forest around them. _"Swan, it's Killian again. You have to listen to me. I know that you've been to see Gold. I saw what you did. And if he's promised to get rid of your powers, don't listen to him. He doesn't want to help you. He wants to collect your powers in a bloody magic hat and when he does, you'll be sucked in, too."_

"A magic hat that will suck me in?" Emma whispered, looking up at him in confusion.

Killian didn't have to explain it, because his own voice from days before did it for him. _"I don't know what he's planning but I know that he's been lying to Belle. The dagger he gave her is a fake. I only know all this because I've been lying to you, too. Gold blackmailed me into helping him. He knew…he knew I'd do whatever it takes to be with you…and he used it against me. I just wanted to be a better man for you, Swan. But I failed. And now because of that, I might lose you. I'm sorry. But I hope you never forgive me, because that means you'll get this in time to save yourself. Goodbye."_

His voice…. Emma couldn't get over the sound of his voice, the fear in it, the panic. Had anyone ever cared about her well-being as much as Killian did? It was humbling, to be so loved by such a man.

When she looked up at Killian again, he'd taken several steps back. His shoulders drooped and his eyes were blank. "So now you know," he murmured, sounding more defeated than she'd ever heard him.

"That's where your hand came from."

"Aye. I gave it up as soon as I realized the cost, but it was too late. He already had me in his grasp."

Emma moved closer and reached for his hook. "I never cared about your stupid hand."

His face screwed up in pain. "It's not the _hand_. I worked for him, Emma. He made me help him gather up magic in his bloody hat. The Sorcerer's Apprentice is in there and who knows who else. He's gathering power for some infernal reason I don't even want to guess at."

"So now we know and we'll stop him. We'll get the hat back and we'll let them back out. " She slid her other hand up his right arm.

Killian shook his head. "Emma, what I did…"

"Shut up," she murmured softly. "You did it for me. Even when it didn't work out the way you wanted. It was still for me."

"I didn't tell you the truth when I should have. If you hadn't figured it out yourself, the gods only know what he might have made me do to you."

Emma smirked. "Then I would have figured it out then. I know you'd never willingly hurt me."

Killian reached up for her face, sliding his fingers back into her hair. "I'd die first."

"I know that. I know _you_. Gold was the one who screwed up. He underestimated you. And he underestimated what we have, the trust I have in you. And the bastard _seriously_ underestimated me."

Killian shook his head in wonder. "You're not mad?"

Emma smiled, pulling him closer. "No, I'm not mad. How could I possibly stay mad after hearing your voice in that message? You sound terrified."

"Bloody hell, I've never been so frightened in my life. I thought I'd lost you."

She leaned in, resting her forehead against his chest. "Not a chance. I'm the savior, remember?"

Killian pulled her close, kissing the side of her neck. "You're my savior without a doubt. Damn, but I love you."

"I know. I felt it when I was holding your heart."

"I'm sorry I frightened you. After everything you've been through, knowing he'd taken my heart must've been terrible for you."

"I was more mad than scared."

He chuckled, and she closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his laughter rumbling through his chest, and underneath that, the perfect steady thump of his heartbeat, safe and sound. "You were a sight to behold in your rage. Remind me to never make you that mad at me."

"The bastard took something precious from me."

Killian leaned back and looked down, unfurling his best, most knee-melting smile on her. "Precious to you, is it?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "You know it is."

"It will always be yours, Emma. No matter what happens. But I made you a promise to survive, Swan. And you know, despite being a pirate, I'm a man of my word."

She gripped the front of his jacket to pull him in to her. "I'm holding you to that. I'm staking claim to your next three hundred years."

"You'll have all of them and more, love."


End file.
